I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
