at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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