Duck Duck Cougar?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
