i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
