I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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