I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
