I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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