remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
