i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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