Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just took my morning after pill in the library
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
