I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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