well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
