I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
