I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
