I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
