I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
