...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
