He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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