if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
