I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
