True but thats because hes a fetus.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
