Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
