508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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