She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
