remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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