Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
