10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
