If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
