i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
