I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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