just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
