Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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