The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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