Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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