just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
