And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
