Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
