Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
