I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
