doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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