No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
