Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
