Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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