You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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