hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
