Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
