The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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