I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
