i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
