On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
