I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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